SlyDawgPoker Forum - Online Poker Leagues http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/ SlyDawgPoker forum and online poker leagues. en Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:38:34 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/images/styles/bgear/misc/rss.jpg SlyDawgPoker Forum - Online Poker Leagues http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/ Thu Sep 9th - Please select prior to 5:30PM PT/8:30PM ET http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4045&goto=newpost Wed, 08 Sep 2010 04:36:13 GMT *Please select prior to * *5:30PM PT/8:30PM ET * *NATIONAL FOOTBALL* *LEAGUE* *Minnesota Vikings*

Please select prior to
5:30PM PT/8:30PM ET


NATIONAL FOOTBALL
LEAGUE


Minnesota Vikings
(0-0, Road: 0-0)

@

New Orleans Saints
(0-0, Home: 0-0)







]]> September - October Pickem Contest TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4045 Nymphomaniacs Convention http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4044&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 20:18:34 GMT **A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.** **He soon...


A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat ... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, " Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "" Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of AmericaConvention in Boston ."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

" Lecturer," she responded. " I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

" Really?" he said. " And what kind of myths are there?"

" Well," she explained, " one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. " I'm sorry," she said, " I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name..."

" Tonto," the man said,

" Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."



 ]]> Jokes TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4044 Wed Sep 8th - Please select prior to 4:10PM PT/7:10PM ET http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4043&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 21:27:39 GMT *Please select prior to * *4:10PM PT/7:10PM ET* *MAJOR LEAGUE * *BASEBALL* *American League*

Please select prior to
4:10PM PT/7:10PM ET


MAJOR LEAGUE
BASEBALL
American League


Tampa Bay Rays
83-53 (Road: 40-27)

@

Boston Red Sox
76-61 (Home: 40-29)


Starting Pitchers
(Probable)

TB: M. Garza (14-7, 3.46)
BOS: C. Buchholz (15-6, 2.25)






]]> September - October Pickem Contest TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4043 Tue Sep 7th - Please select prior to 4:05PM PT/7:05PM ET http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4042&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 00:58:21 GMT *Please select prior to * *4:05PM PT/7:05PM ET* *MAJOR LEAGUE * *BASEBALL* *American League*

Please select prior to
4:05PM PT/7:05PM ET


MAJOR LEAGUE
BASEBALL
American League


Chicago White Sox
76-60 (Road: 38-33)

@

Detroit Tigers
68-69 (Home: 43-25)


Starting Pitchers
(Probable)

CWS: F. García (11-5, 4.82)
DET: J. Verlander (14-8, 3.61)




]]> September - October Pickem Contest TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4042 lunch with the girls http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4041&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 19:38:05 GMT Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman, said; “I need to be honest with you, ... Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.



The first woman, said; “I need to be honest with you,

I’m getting a boob job.”

The second woman responded; “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!”

“Whoa,” replied the first woman. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!” ]]> Jokes crash58 http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4041 In The Land of the Blind... http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4040&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 15:04:15 GMT
A blind man goes into a tavern, finds the bar, and sits down.

When the bartender comes over and asks what he'd like to drink, he says, "I'd like to get a beer and tell blonde joke."

The bartender says, "Well, I'll give you a beer, no problem, but you should know that I weigh 250 pounds, and I'm a blonde.

Also, my brother is sitting next to you. He's also about 250, and he's blonde too.

My cousin is sitting at the table behind you, he weighs almost 300 pounds, and he's a blonde. Are you sure you want to tell the blonde joke?"

The blind guy thinks a minute, then says, "Well, I guess I'll have the beer, but I won't tell the blonde joke."

"Why not?" asks the bartender.

"Well," the blind guy says,

"I don't want to have to explain it three times."

]]> Jokes TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4040 $10K Tournament Seats http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4039&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 05:21:52 GMT Ok guys...we need to make sure everyone knows about how to go about playing in the $10K GTD tournament after you win your seat. After I have the... Ok guys...we need to make sure everyone knows about how to go about playing in the $10K GTD tournament after you win your seat.

After I have the names of the 3 players who won the seats...I have to notify my rep on who won the seats. We have it set up so if you win one on Fridays you will be entered the following Friday. Same with Mondays.....you will be entered into the tournament the following Monday.

On the day the $10K GTD tournament is suppose to be played I will always send you a PM in the forum to remind you that you have been registered into that nights game.

BUT there are times when my rep isnt able to get you entered into the tournament in time because of other demands. If you dont get entered into the night you are suppose to play....you will be entered into the $10K the week after that.

BUT it is your responsibility to make sure you play the game. All I can do is get you guys entered and send you a PM to remind you.

I am sure each and every one of you know when you win a seat and when you will be playing the following week.

Yes there are times you dont get a PM in the Forum the day you are suppose to play cause if I dont see you entered into the tournament there is no sense in me sending a PM.

IF you arent registered the night you are suppose to play....then you need to be aware that you will be entered into the following weeks game.

Thats all I can do for you guys. ]]> September/October League Details and Results SlyDawg http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4039 Race #25 - Sept 5th @ Atlanta Deadline 4:46pm pt / 7:46pm et http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4037&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 00:44:37 GMT *Selections must be entered no later than Sept 5th @ 4:46pm pt / 7:46pm et* *4 years results for this race are as follows.....* *2009 Winner... Selections must be entered no later than Sept 5th @ 4:46pm pt / 7:46pm et

4 years results for this race are as follows.....

2009 Winner - Kasey Kahne
2008 Winner - Carl Edwards
2007 Winner - Jimmie Johnson
2006 Winner - Tony Stewart


]]> Weekly Nascar Contest SlyDawg http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4037 Mon Sep 6th - Please select prior to 10:35AM PT/1:35PM ET http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4036&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 00:44:13 GMT *Please select prior to * *10:35AM PT/1:35PM ET* *MAJOR LEAGUE * *BASEBALL* *National League*

Please select prior to
10:35AM PT/1:35PM ET


MAJOR LEAGUE
BASEBALL
National League


Atlanta Braves
79-57 (Road: 30-38)

@

Pittsburgh Pirates
45-90 (Home: 31-37)


Starting Pitchers
(Probable)

ATL: T. Hanson (9-10, 3.60)
PIT: J. Karstens (3-10, 4.88)






]]> Completed Contest Games TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4036 joke http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4035&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 12:05:41 GMT A 9 year old boy is walking down the street... ...he finds a welders mask on the sidewalk and puts it on. He keeps walking down the street,... A 9 year old boy is walking down the street...

...he finds a welders mask on the sidewalk and puts it on. He keeps walking down the street, flipping the mask up and down, open and closed. A car pulls up next to him and the window rolls down. A man leans out and asks the boy if he'd like a ride. He says "sure" and gets in the car. He sits in the passenger seat, flipping the mask up and down and the driver looks at him and smiles. "Tell me, son," he says, "do you know what sodomy is?" "Nope," says the kid, flipping the welders mask up and down. "Do you know what a blow-job is?" The man asks. "Nope," Says the kid, flipping the mask up and down. "Well, do you know what a pedophile is?" The man asks next. The kid looks at the man and says, "Listen, Buddy, I've got to tell you; I'm not really a welder. ]]> Jokes kittensmasher http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4035 $200 Facebook Freeroll from GGE http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4034&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 03:23:33 GMT *GGE $200 Facebook Freeroll* Image: http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p269/GlobalGamingEvents/facebanner23copy.jpg Here is your chance...
GGE $200 Facebook Freeroll



Here is your chance to get into a $200 Freeroll. It’s easy, it’s fun and it’s free cash!

Follow these simple steps to qualify:
1. “Like” Global Gaming Events on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=50778397043#!/pages/Global-Gaming-Events/106171272761057?ref=ts

2. Post each of the following events once to your Facebook Profile on 3 separate days prior to Saturday, September 11th, 2010 at 3pm EDT.

Dinner With Doyle League – 3rd Set of Events http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=156004434411300&index=1

GGE WPT League http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=150621111622583&index=1

OFC Grand Re-Opening $5,000 Freeroll sponsored by UB http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=146923732006353&index=1

*If you are not familiar with Facebook’s Share function, see: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/help/?faq=12448

To post to your Facebook Profile or Wall:
a. Click the above URL to each specific event page on Facebook
b. Click “Share” directly beneath the event title
c. (Optional) Add a comment in the text box (i.e. “All of my friends should play in this event”, “Don’t miss this HUGE value-added event(s)”)
d. Click the “Share” button in the bottom right-hand corner
3. Prior to Saturday, September 11th, 2010 at 3pm EDT, post your FeltStars Screename on the Discussion Topic: GGE Facebook Freeroll found here: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=106171272761057&topic=143

4. Play in the GGE Facebook Freeroll on Thursday, September 16th 2010 at 9pm EDT at FeltStars. As long as you have shared the above events and provided your correct FeltStars Screenname, you will be awarded a coupon to this $200 Freeroll.
]]> Poker News SlyDawg http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4034 Sun Sep 5th - Please select prior to 11:20AM PT/2:20PM ET http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4033&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 02:18:10 GMT *Please select prior to * *11:20AM PT/2:20PM ET* *MAJOR LEAGUE * *BASEBALL* *National League*

Please select prior to
11:20AM PT/2:20PM ET


MAJOR LEAGUE
BASEBALL
National League


New York Mets
66-69 (Road: 27-44)

@

Chicago Cubs
58-77 (Home: 31-39)


Starting Pitchers
(Probable)

NYM: J. Niese (8-7, 3.70)
CHC: C. Zambrano (6-6, 4.36)






]]> Completed Contest Games TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4033 life explained http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4032&goto=newpost Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:31:23 GMT


On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty five years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only fifteen years and I'll give you back the other ten?'



So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.. I'm doing it as a public
service. ]]> Jokes crash58 http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4032 Interesting signs: http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4030&goto=newpost Fri, 03 Sep 2010 08:35:31 GMT Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
**************************



In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************



On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
**************************



On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************



On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
**************************



On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
**************************



At a Tire Store
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************



On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************



In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************



On a Maternity Room door:
"PUSH, and Push and Push."
**************************



At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************



On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************



On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
**************************



At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************



Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************



In a Vets waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************



In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
**************************



In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************
And don't forget the sign at a





RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
**********************



Sign on the back of yet another
Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises" ]]> Jokes crash58 http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4030 Sat Sep 4th - Please select prior to 12:30PM PT/3:30PM ET http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4029&goto=newpost Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:18:13 GMT *Please select prior to * *12:30PM PT/3:30PM ET* *NCAA* *FOOTBALL* *Purdue

Please select prior to
12:30PM PT/3:30PM ET


NCAA
FOOTBALL


Purdue
Boilermakers

@

Notre Dame
Fighting Irish






]]> Completed Contest Games TheOldGuy http://www.slydawgpoker.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4029